


Wordless

by callme_cutie (SharmanPuppies)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cutting, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 17:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4444766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharmanPuppies/pseuds/callme_cutie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, words are hindering in the process of love. Sometimes, it's about actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wordless

**Author's Note:**

> Just a drabble I came up with at 3 in the morning. Enjoy :) (not series-related)

Yixing hates it, really, how easily he succumbs to the promptings of the razor he keeps hidden in a box in his bottom drawer. He hates how easy it is to slide it across his skin and watch the blood drip onto his legs the way his tears drip down his face at night. He hates that he likes it - loves it. The pain, the blood. The idea that it will never get better than watching the red coat his tan skin and stain the silver of the razor. He hates all of it, but mostly he hates that no matter what happens, Jongdae is always there. Always talking him down from taking the final step, making sure he's alive before being able to fall asleep himself. Yixing considers waiting until he falls asleep, but knows he could never do that to Jongdae. His best friend, his confident. His first - and only - love. The one person in the world who doesn't make him hate himself, who makes him see a little of the good in the world. The one person he'd do anything for, if asked. Yixing figures Jongdae doesn't know any of this, but boy is he wrong.

 

Jongdae hates it more than Yixing does, how easily his best friend lets himself be pushed around by the ways of the world. He hates standing at the sidelines and watching as the boy he's fallen madly in love with drags the sharp edge of a razor across his beautiful skin and tries to play it off the next day. He hates that Yixing likes it, hates that he'd never be able to ask him to stop. More than anything, Jongdae hates that Yixing melts into it as if it's an old friend. Its his safety, and Jongdae wants to be that for Yixing. Jongdae likes that Yixing will fall into him occasionally, pulling him into a silent cuddle during a study session for the whole hour he has at Jongdae's house. They don't get any studying done, but Jongdae can't find it in himself to care when Yixing has his face buried in his neck and his arms around his torso. Yixing comes to school the next day without extra bandages so Jongdae smiles softly to himself and slings an arm around Yixing's shoulder. He thinks that maybe life isn't going to be so bad.

 

Yixing likes it when Jongdae touches him, it's relaxing in a way cutting isn't. Its the reminder that there's at least one person in the world who cares, who would miss him if he cut just a little bit lower, a little bit deeper. A little bit more, a little bit harder. Jongdae's a touchy person, so it's no surprise to have Jongdae's arm around his shoulders, his hand on his hip. Yixing likes it when Jongdae's brushes his hair out of his face and stares at him, licking his lips before looking away. Yixing wants to take the first step, but worries Jongdae's will take the second out of pity. Jongdae's like that, you see. Always looking out for his friends - Yixing the most. Yixing knows Jongdae means well, but damn if he doesn't have the best timing, calling right as Yixing's digging through his drawer for his box.

 

Jongdae's the one who takes the step, pressing his lips against Yixing's for a fraction of a second before quickly jerking back. They spend the night lost in the feel of their lips pressed together and Yixing doesn't think about the box once. The next day they take a sick day, curling around each other in bed and watching children's movies as Yixing idly draws shapes on Jongdae's skin.

 

Yixing's scars fade until they're barely a memory. He throws out the box, Jongdae's arms wrapped securely around his waist as they survey their new living room. Wordlessly he turns to face his fiancé and pulls him into a soft kiss, not needing words to express his feelings. Sometimes, words are hindering in the process of love. Sometimes, it's about actions.


End file.
